Angel

being different is scary it's so scary it's like you never have a reference  and i stick in each place like a sore thumb. i used to hate it i hated so much because i was a kid raised to be perfect i was meant to get the highest grades . my parents and teachers thought that i am so smart and i remember getting those grades they wished only on the subjects i loved. it's just that i was an over sensitive kid and i  know my parents didn't mean it but by pushing me so hard to be perfect when i didn't know why exactly i should do it i got systematized that i should be perfect to deserve love and respect  the more i push myself the more i am respected and in a way this  might be true. but when talking to your little kid it's very important to point out how you love them and how they are worth everything no matter what because i always had the spirit of the artist i only discovered it when i got old but i was always the person that can't do something t...

كل فترة و لانى شخص مريح فى الكلام شوية ناس بيفتحولى قلبهم و يبتدوا يتكلموا من واقع عشمهم عن ازاى انا لازم اكون احلى ساعات بيكون الكلام ده جاى من مكان طيب و بيكون قصده معنوى زى هدى صوتك خليكى اعقل  لكن الاكتر بيكون الكلام واقعه سطحى اكتر بمعنى : مفكرتيش تخسي يا سارة؟ مش شايفة ان فلانة احلى منك عشان بس واخدة بالها من جمالها اكتر ؟ مش عاوزة تحردى وسطك ؟ معندكيش حد توريه جمالك الحقيقي؟ بعترف انى فى وقت كنت بقارن نفسي بالبنات و وقف عند ١٥ سنة بعدها بقيت اشوف جمال كل ست عشان اتعلمت اشوف جمال نفسي و اتعلمت اتقبل جسمى و انى مش بيونسيه و ممكن احاول اكون شبهها بس يمكن ان بصحتى و مبسوطة و مش مضايقنى الكام كيلو دول قد ما مضايقين الناس. لكن كتر الكلام خلق علاقة i hate you i love you ما بينى و ما بين جسمى انا بحبه عشان انا بحبه بس بكرهه عشان انا بحبه بس بيسمعنى كلام زى السم ممكن ميكونش له معنى فعلا بس كلام و كتير و نيته نقد توبيخ او اهانة ساعات. من قريب حد عزيز عليا اوى قعد معايا و قالى انا مش شايفك بتخسي يا سارة فرديت قلت انه occasional كيلو او اتنين مش حاجة مصرة عليها فقالى انه انا معنديش ...

A few examples of how to escape a relationship/friendship that no longer serves you  Scénario 1:  The light goes out and when it's back on you are already gone  Scénario 2: The light goes out and when it's back on a paper is in your chair with a poem about how you can't take it.. Remember never think of their reaction let them handle it the way they let you handle everything Scénario 3: Mirror their actions feed them the truth they want bland the same way you were fed unhear them in a way that whatever you know about them doesn't matter you'll eventually hit a soft spot bruise an ego or step on an insecurity this will be a long process the light will go out and when it's back the room is yours Scénario 4: Ask them for help they will flee before the light goes out and the room will be dark for a bit but remember that the power will be back or the morning will hit and the sun will melt away the ice of fear and despair Scénario 5: When in an argument use the same ...