Angel

Take a shower, wash off the day. Drink a glass of water. Make the room dark. Lie down and close your eyes. Notice the silence. Notice your heart. Still beating. Still fighting. You made it, after all. You made it, another day. And you can make it one more.  You’re doing just fine. —  Charlotte Eriksson  

I now know i have different women so many women trapped between my ribs they kill each other to arise and speak but each funeral is so glorious that you can't miss any of them when she has left her little hand print on my lungs i never saw anyone speak about breathing other people's air breathing the air of a thousand other women until i finally felt it.  The day i found my companions the day i deciphered the voices in my head discovered why wine tastes different every time i drink it why it feels different every time i do was the day we left him we left him to finally find ourselves we left him to lean on trees sink our head in rivers watch small fish swimming until we can't breathe so we resurface to have the air greeting us again it misses us i know it does when we don't let it in it tells us each night when the moon joins our fire. Our night fire feeds on anger it stays alive until the sun wakes up to hug our skin illuminates our chest so we are ready to learn again...

   

Since it inspired me to create a sketchbook myself this is here 

If we can at the very least rethink everything that we are conditioned to see as freedom, will we discover a greater, purer sense for what freedom actually is? Last week, my friend Jonathan Mead — a leading personal development blogger at IlluminatedMind.net — argued in a blog post that the ever-popular niche movement of “lifestyle design, travel the world, location independence” blogs, books, and web-based products cannot, in fact, sell anyone actual freedom: “Freedom is not found in patterns, nor on the edges of contrarianism. Freedom isn’t about escaping the 9-to-5, revolution, or breaking away.” Jonathan Mead In response, I commented that perhaps the greatest value any of these books, blogs and philosophies is found less in the actually content or intended objective of each, and more in the subtle concept that the reader begins to “unlearn” the hard, confined and constrictive rules of conventional living that society has drilled into them since youth — a process that Jonatha...

Guilt Defined : Feelings of guilt typically arise when we believe we’ve done or are about to do something that can result in harm to another person (emotionally, physically, materially or otherwise). We usually respond to feelings of guilt by refraining from taking the intended action or by making efforts to repair the relationship by apologizing and/or atoning for the harm we’ve caused. As such, an already established short-term benefit of guilt is that it helps us maintain our relationships and keep in good standing in our families and communities. Shame Defined: Shame arises when we feel bad not just about what we’ve done but about what our actions imply about who we are. As such, shame represents a much deeper psychological wound, one in which we condemn not just our behavior but our very self. We typically respond to feelings of shame by making efforts to distance ourselves from the shame-inducing event and hiding or withdrawing in order to avoid facing the scr...

https://vimeo.com/190226045 Three Steps to Creativity Whether you are looking to transform a life of sadness and depression into one of happiness and joy, or you are wishing to take your artistry to a higher level, instead of keeping your attention on the goal, focus on taking these three steps: 1. CLEAR YOUR INNER OBSTACLES The first step toward unleashing the open flow of creativity is to attain a state of openness. That requires clearing away your negative self-image. People who are stuck always seem to have excuses for not moving forward. not having enough money or lacking support from loved ones, friends, or colleagues are very common examples. You may think, “I’m not good enough,” or “no one else has done it before,” or “This is not the right time and place.” But whether you have ten reasons or one hundred, external factors are not the real obstacle. The real block is within. It’s not that someone else is in your way—you yourself are the block. You are attached t...

27.5.2016 So you have the whole world on your mind .ideas that are kicking at your insides showing their colors through your skin they want to be let out but you don't know where you are standing and you can't let them go when they are still so young. you are pregnant with your lover warmth and reassurance spreads throughout your body from your uterus but you have to hide it because you can't love under the harsh gaze of the widows in your church you can't love when all they'll ask about is where is his father?

15.2.2015 I saw myself in india with a broken leg and old crutches i saw myself going for a road i never knew smiling even when i was struggling to walk properly.  i saw people beside me people that I couldn't trust but only agreed for their company in order to not feel lonely during my long walk.  i was talking about a mosque that has light hitting every inch of it's colorful glass and emitting shadows of all colors. i was talking about god, about blessings, about a field of banana trees that i am going to be running through. the man to my right was talking about pain that i saw that he was inflicting upon himself his eyes were dull he was limping and his words were circling obsessively around one impossible thought and it was walking normally he never tried though he only threw wishes at an unresponsive sky that did nothing but depress him further. In him i saw a glimpse of someone i used to be .i looked at my broken leg at my crutches and thought if i should feel cripp...

I did my best… I did my best! -Dane Cook, comedian The phrase “to make a mistake” implies purposive, conscious, planned action. That’s utterly inaccurate: there are no intentional mistakes, no one consciously sets out to fail. When we fail on purpose, when we make a mistake by design, we are actually succeeding with some kind of covert plan. Therefore, even an act of conscious sabotage isn’t a mistake (to you) even if takes the form of a mistake (to others). Bottom-line: No one makes mistakes because no one ever makes a mistake on purpose (sabotage notwithstanding). And yet mistakes do take place. Indeed, now and then we all drop the proverbial ball. Not because we intend to but because there are too many balls to juggle with. Understanding the difference between an intentional mistake and an unintentional occurrence is key to wellbeing and self-acceptance. A Mistake is a Difference Between What Is and What Should Be When we think of a mistake, we thin...

Allow yourself the uncomfortable luxury of changing your mind . Cultivate that capacity for “negative capability.” We live in a culture where one of the greatest social disgraces is not having an opinion, so we often form our “opinions” based on superficial impressions or the borrowed ideas of others, without investing the time and thought that cultivating true conviction necessitates. We then go around asserting these donned opinions and clinging to them as anchors to our own reality. It’s enormously disorienting to simply say, “I don’t know.” But it’s infinitely more rewarding to understand than to be right — even if that means changing your mind about a topic, an ideology, or, above all, yourself. Do nothing for prestige or status or money or approval alone . As Paul Graham observed, “prestige is like a powerful magnet that warps even your beliefs about what you enjoy. It causes you to work not on what you like, but what you’d like to like.” Those extrinsic motivators are fine...

via brainpickings:https://www.brainpickings.org/2015/11/09/nicole-krauss-van-gogh-letter/ Dear Vincent, You write about fear: Fear of the blank canvas, but also, on a larger scale, of the “infinitely meaningless, discouraging blank side” that life itself always turns toward us, and which can only be countered when a person “steps in and does something,” when he “breaks” or “violates.” It’s extraordinary that I should have been given your letter now, because it is exactly that act of breaking that has been on my mind this last year, and which I feel has everything to do with how I want to make art, and how I want to live. It’s a strange thing about the human mind that, despite its capacity and its abundant freedom, its default is to function in a repeating pattern. It watches the moon and the planets, the days and seasons, the cycle of life and death all going around in an endless loop, and unconsciously, believing itself to be nature, the mind echoes these cycles. Its though...

Directing Your Subconscious Mind Power "If you put your mind to something you can achieve it."     You've probably heard that before. But no one ever tells you how to put your mind to something. And they don't tell you that if you want to succeed or achieve anything you have to put your Subconscious Mind to it. No wonder you try to "put your mind to something" but you just don't get anywhere. Instead, you end up getting your subconscious to create more of what you don't want. You have to turn that around. Put your subconscious mind to work - so that it brings you what you want. How? I'll show you - read on... If you're not getting what you want then you're not actively instructing and directing your subconscious mind. You haven't put your subconscious mind to the task. Your subconscious follows your thoughts and beliefs. These are the primary directions for the subconscious mind. What you think and believe ...

today i am not feeling very well..i have a big jury coming and i am not as prepared as i usually am plus the fact that i am feeling like i can't do it as if maybe i wasn't born to be a painter maybe i should just focus on other things but i know that this is my way of escaping things and today i decided to try and get different tips and different opinions about how to do it better instead of eating, moping over facebook or sleeping like i have done for most of the day. now this video has helped me a lot and it's one of the only videos that i found very motivating and the result is pretty artistic pretty unique not your usual misty mountains Aquarelle stuff not the neat monochrome paintings that we see when we are looking for inspiration 

A child who doesn’t know where the center is — where home is, what home is — that child is in a very bad way. Home isn’t Mom and Dad and Sis and Bud. Home isn’t where they have to let you in. It’s not a place at all. Home is imaginary. Home, imagined, comes to be. It is real, realer than any other place, but you can’t get to it unless your people show you how to imagine it—whoever your people are. They may not be your relatives. They may never have spoken your language. They may have been dead for a thousand years. They may be nothing but words printed on paper, ghosts of voices, shadows of minds. But they can guide you home. They are your human community. All of us have to learn how to invent our lives, make them up, imagine them. We need to be taught these skills; we need guides to show us how. Without them, our lives get made up for us by other people.

To paint is to love again, live again, see again. To get up at the crack of dawn in order to take a peek at the water colors one did the day before, or even a few hours before, is like stealing a look at the beloved while she sleeps. The thrill is even greater if one has first to draw back the curtains. How they glow in the cold light of early dawn! … Is there any writer who rouses himself at daybreak in order to read the pages of his manuscript? Perish the thought! The most familiar things, objects which I had gazed at all my life, now became an unending source of wonder, and with the wonder, of course, affection. A tea pot, an old hammer, or chipped cup, whatever came to hand I looked upon as if I had never seen it before. I hadn’t, of course. Do not most of us go through life blind, deaf, insensitive? Now as I studied the object’s physiognomy, its texture, its way of speaking, I entered into its life, its history, its purpose, its association with other objects, all of whic...

  1 .   Art & Fear: Observations On the Perils (and Rewards) of Artmaking , working artists  David Bayles  and  Ted Orland                      In the ideal — that is to say,  real  — artist, fears not only continue to exist, they exist side by side with the desires that complement them, perhaps drive them, certainly feed them. Naive passion, which promotes work done in ignorance of obstacles, becomes — with courage — informed passion, which promotes work done in full acceptance of those obstacles. 2 .   The War of Art: Break Through the Blocks and Win Your Inner Creative Battles ,               Are you paralyzed with fear? That’s a good sign. Fear is good. Like self-doubt, fear is an indicator. Fear tells us what we have to do. Remember our rule of thumb: The more scared we are of a work or calling, the more sure we can be that we have to ...