Angel

You know what you can either love someone or not love them you can't be doing the whole "pretending to like them so you won't hurt them" shit because love comes with a responsibility one that you would gladly be taking if you accept that person . Acceptance is key it's knowing how bad they can get how reckless how out of control but you are still willing to be there to listen to all kinds of complaints and be happy you helped be happy that one of your loved ones is trusting you with their feelings sometimes it's harder than other times because sometimes they can do things you don't approve of something that you know are going to maybe hurt them in a way at the end but being their friend loving them requires supporting them through it all because once again you accept them 

because creating playlists tasting art is a way of recognizing god and praying  https://soundcloud.com/flyingelephants/sets/winters-prayers https://soundcloud.com/flyingelephants/sets/silk-lillies https://soundcloud.com/flyingelephants/sets/one-more-awakening

“Leaving is not enough. You must stay gone. Train your heart like a dog. Change the locks even on the house he’s never visited. You lucky, lucky girl. You have an apartment just your size. A bathtub full of tea. A heart the size of Arizona, but not nearly so arid. Don’t wish away your cracked past, your crooked toes, your problems are papier mache puppets you made or bought because the vendor at the market was so compelling you just had to have them. You had to have him. And you did. And now you pull down the bridge between your houses, you make him call before he visits, you take a lover for granted, you take a lover who looks at you like maybe you are magic. Make the first bottle you consume in this place a relic. Place it on whatever altar you fashion… Don’t lose too much weight. Stupid girls are always trying to disappear as revenge. And you are not stupid. You loved a man with more hands than a parade of beggars, and here you stand. Heart like a four-poster bed. Heart like a canv...

Run your fingertips along his firm tense jawline ask him how does it feel to inhabit the clouds ask him how does god look like open the curtains of your apartment and ask him to lay down on the fuzzy carpet with you introduce him to your neighbors as a beauty you met randomly talk about how he met napoleon or manipulated Hitler to quit once and for all Burry his axe in the park at 3 am and make love on the dewy soil take him to piano concerts ask him for a corsage do his tie for him

The anger i used to have the anger that flowed out of me like endless waterfalls the anger you lit your empty chest warmed your vulnerable your torpid dormant masculinity with. to face mornings bravely to face society with a heart filled to the brim with my heated words my explosive hot red passion all of this anger has turned into bitterness the one you tasted on my tongue right before you left but you left with a panting thirsty heart i was however left in a pastel pink world one that you didn't care enough to notice it's existence. Baby i was born with thousands of women cramped together between each of my ribs every one of them has enough femininity and strength to build another thousand worlds and if you didn't learn to hear them if you only cared about the nights i brought you the sun in your hands then i am afraid to tell you the sun you think you own is mine it belongs above my head and it's meant to burn those who take without giving.         ...

Now that i am saying goodbye to the lovely seasonal greenth of my trees i'd like to whisper to their veiny trunks how their leaves have managed to wrap around my heart and wake it up from it's deep deep slumber. I'd like to tell the flowers in the little garden by my house that they have managed to get my mind to rest from it's frenzy i'd like to thank them thank their petals for reminding me how soft my skin is under the right touch of tenderness for reminding me to stop beating myself up for loving too much because I could never love too much when I've got art to make when I've got a set of endless lovers to find when i have gardens in my uterus and poetry inked to my lungs that tumble out of my mouth when i am reunited with a spark from the past. I'll be writing crappy letters to strangers telling them how i am living an endless summer how my room was the place where i found god then found myself where i made up and broke up with ghosts and decided ...

 One time i told him to stop the car in the middle of nowhere ,just so we could pick up dandelions from the side of the road. i picked a bunch ,we sped away with the car ,blew them from the window ,and then each of us went home. that day my diary had the title : flying fragile wishes

2/5/2016: it's summer already and the stars I've kissed blindly in the winter cold are coming out of their hiding in tribes I recognized my star from when the earth started feeling a little tender under my feet when the words I've sent her  echoed in my ears when a feeling to just be completely embraced ,enveloped washed all over me i then looked up to meet her gaze and my insides melted i went back to feeling myself as if i was under water all this time holding my breath and suddenly my needy lungs got the air they needed. Some are asking me to visit lands where my hands can cup a tree where all the flowers it knows are those that are in my hands those sprouting from my back and the ones on my head when i'll step foot in it .they are asking me to give it a chance that i don't have in me ,telling me that it's sunny just the way i like it. and i swear I didn't stay in the wind's lands alone for that long ,chose to build and rebuild my home alone after ev...