A diary entry: a taste of my reality






1.8.2018
 Swaying my way into the temple with my teeth missing and my blood running down my lips i rest my face on the alter and sacrifice what is left of me to the sky... Blood seeps onto the  white fine clothing and i scream to the emptiness outside i scream to awake sleeping angels alarm them to my pain.. I am in pain beaten by days. brought with the waves of my own ocean of misery to the shore cold and blue and shaking time runs like rivers outside while i am barely crawling.
This is the side of reality that i choose to make pretty so your eyes don't get hurt this is the side you chose to deny the pain we laughed about. These are the wounds of defeat these are the bones that turned cold from loneliness.
I bet you are surprised i bet you are thinking how come such sadening things would be a part of all the fun i bet you'll run away before the tears flood your hours or wet your sense of judgment so that you actually care..
But i beg you to leave me on the ground unable to grasp a single truth about me than to feed me fake love i beg you to leave me unloved undesired than to love me half heartedly as if it's a task you'll have to check before tapping the next. leave me for time to heal me leave me for the destiny to put my form into where i am meant to be leave me and save me the pain of your departure after you've had a taste of my reality

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